Feeling like an imposter

What a great book. If you get the chance start thumbing your way through Stephen D Brookfield's, The Skillful Teacher. His years of teaching experience and humor make for a good read.

I'd like to reflect on chapter one. This stood out to me.

"how teachers muddle through careers. They report their work to be highly baffling and chaotic."

(Preskill and Jacobvitz,  2000; Mattos,  2009)

I vividly recall my first day walking into my classroom. If it were a movie scene then I was the teacher stumbling in the door late and sweaty. A stack of papers obscured my face while I tried to straighten my glasses. I don't wear glasses and the stack of paper was a few USB flash drives but you get the point. There was something so tangible about the fear of screwing up and losing the attention of the students on the first day.

But, you know what. I muddled my way through that day and came out in one piece. It really revealed to me the power of the instructor and if you deliver the content believably the whole class just follows along. I'm not saying it's the right way but it helps when you get those moments where they all stare blankly at you.

So, I am in my second year of teaching and I have a lot to learn. One of my courses is a Professional Practices course. Now I acquired this course very last minute and a few of the topics i was required to teach were lets say...muddy? I spent the night before prepping so hard (yes, the night before) I had powerpoints and backup powerpoints, handout and a speech. I was ready.

The following morning I stepped into my classroom and boom...went blank with fear. What was I doing there? I didn't know the topic why would they believe me?  Then it all just worked out. With a little bit of luck and a quick joke and question, a conversation was started by the students on the topic. They answered all my questions on their own without me even posing any of them. It gave me that chance to catch my breath, feed off their conversation and pull out the information I knew was in my head. I came across as more of an expert than I was.

I had a student come up to me after that class and comment on how it really sunk in the important of the discussed topic. I was astounded that I had pulled it off.

I will leave you with this quote from the Skillful teacher.

"I will always feel like an impostor and will never lose the sense of amazement I feel when people treat me as if I have something valuable to offer" (Brookfield,  2015, p.9)